Body Autonomy Meets Social Media: #SkinnyTok
From Body Positivity to SkinnyTok: What Happened to Balance?
Last night, I was on my couch, mindlessly scrolling. One automatic finger movement after another, I was in a trance, not really consuming but simply seeing the content. Then, suddenly, a text on my screen snapped me out of it:
“Skinny isn’t about restriction. It’s about regulation. And nothing feels better than being the girl who’s in control.”
I blinked. Was I tripping? Had I been suddenly teleported back to 2013 Tumblr era? I couldn’t believe what I was seeing — this was on my Instagram explore page.
SkinnyTok: A New (Old) Trend
Disturbed (and honestly, a little curious), I went down a rabbit hole. I started exploring what was happening on this side of Instagram and TikTok algorithm. And there it was: SkinnyTok. Resurgence of content glorifying thinness.
Apparently, a whole wave of new influencers are praising thinness openly, and fierce fights have exploded around it. People have been banned, cancelled — and interestingly, it’s happening on both sides. Some users are cancelled for supporting #SkinnyTok content; others, for shaming it.
If this had happened a few years ago, SkinnyTok wouldn’t have been this popular. Anyone who dared sharing such content would be cancelled immediately and we wouldn’t hear from them ever again. But now, we are seeing a new trend. People are consuming this content. They’re curious. They follow these accounts, looking for more material, more "tips and tricks."
I’ve read many comments under the #SkinnyTok content such as…
“I needed to hear this, so helpful”
“Watch someone say this is ED behaviour because they believe people should be overweight to be healthy”
It’s tempting to sigh, roll our eyes immediately — but hold on. Don’t be surprised. And definitely don’t start judging just yet. Let’s try to understand: where is all of this coming from?
Is This the Consequence of… Body Positivity?
My personal hypothesis is that, this is the backlash from all the body positivity that has been imposed on people, for all these years.
When I was in recovery and came across body-positive content, I felt a conflict within me: I wanted to recover and be free, but on the other hand, I wanted to stay at my natural weight — which fairly leans toward the thinner end of the spectrum. And I felt so much shame for that.
This is the problem with body positivity online or with recovery accounts: either you are not sick or thin enough to "deserve" recovery, or you aren’t recovered enough to fully embrace body positivity — leaving you feeling like a failure either way.
After being scrutinized for every little normal part of our bodies for so long, we’ve been told to adore our bodies for the last 5–6 years. It was such a sharp switch from one extreme to the other, which made it hard to truly internalize body positivity as a belief system.
I know so many clients (and people I know) who say things like,
“Yeah yeah, body positivity is great and all but I just don’t want to gain weight, you know?” usually followed by a joke-y warning, adding that I need to “take off my Realistic Body Therapist hat” before hearing them.
They probably expect me to say,
“Oh, then you don’t love yourself enough, if you still want to be thin”, then judge them for it.
I believe they are so used to getting invalidated and shamed for having the desire to be thin, that they feel the need to give a disclaimer before admitting it. This hypersensitivity we’ve developed toward body discussions has created an environment where any mention of thinness was equated with harm — no nuance allowed. We’ve been conditioned to be extremely cautious. Until now, when body positivity was dominating trends, anything remotely suggesting that "thinness was okay-ish" would get you canceled or shut down.
For these people, I understand that SkinnyTok content feels like a fresh breath of air. They feel seen, heard, spoken to. For them, it’s like someone finally says openly what they think everybody else is already thinking, without being invalidated or cancelled.
Maybe #SkinnyTok feels like a rebellious act for some. It's not just about being thin; it's about reclaiming a part of body conversation that had been heavily censored.
The Pendulum Swing
Make no mistake: I don’t mean to say that this new trend #SkinnyTok is healthy or healthier. It's just the pendulum swinging back — and swinging hard. One extreme to the other. From obsessively chasing thinness, to forcefully adoring our bodies without room for complexity, and now swinging back toward glamorizing thinness again.
Here’s a thought-experiment for you, and I’m going to hold your hand while introducing it:
If Liv Schmidt was in a larger body, would she receive all this backlash?
I bet if she were in a larger body, the backlash wouldn’t have been this big. It would just be mean comments instead of full-on cancelling. Or maybe she would be seen as a ‘dedicated girl’ trying to motivate others around her.
So how can the same message - promoting ‘weight loss’ - be seen as either harmful or healthy, simply based on their appearance?
I thought we were collectively trying to move away from making bodies the most important thing? Let’s not ignore the elephant in the room.
This is the contradiction we all have inside us: we say we accept all bodies, but when we see someone thin online, it suddenly becomes a problem — just like how fat-shaming is seen as a problem.
SkinnyTok is a symptom of a conversation that’s still desperately searching for balance.
Wanting to lose weight isn’t inherently bad, policing and shaming is.
People are often surprised to learn that I’m not against being thin, or wanting to be thin. I believe you have your own body and your own autonomy. No one can tell you what you should look like, or how much you should weigh, whether it’s by suggesting you should lose weight or gain it. Your body, your decision.
If I said the opposite — “You shouldn’t post that” or “You shouldn’t want that” — would that actually help anyone?
Probably not. It would just create a new kind of policing, a new kind of shame.
Plus, this brings us to other issues: authenticity and freedom of speech. You may say anyone who promotes weight loss is “bad” but everyone is allowed to feel what they feel, think what they think, and express it — and to look the way they look and show it — whether online or in person. That’s part of freedom. That’s part of authenticity.
The toxicity of SkinnyTok doesn't come from talking about weight loss.
It comes from the rigidity, harshness, accessibility and the lack of responsibility, accessibility behind how these ideas are shared.
1) Toxic messaging: rigid and harsh tone
You want to lose weight? Okay. For me, what matters is where the decision to lose weight is coming from and the means you use to get there.
And that’s something only you can know. You have to be purely honest with yourself.
Is your desire to change coming from a harsh part inside you, full of self-hatred, willing to put you through anything and everything just to achieve thinness? Does your entire worth, life depend on it?
Or is it coming from a more neutral, compassionate, containing part that wants you to feel good and safe in your own skin? Is it okay to take your time and enjoy the ride? To connect with your body?
It doesn’t matter if you’re lying to people around you, telling them you love your body and that’s why you want to change it — if, deep down, you secretly despise how your body looks, you’ll be left alone with feelings of shame. And you deserve a better life than that, where you are at peace with your body.
There’s a big difference between being realistic versus simply being mean to yourself.
I’ve read quotes that really reminded me of Tumblr 2013:
“Don’t reward yourself with food, you’re not a dog.”
First of all — I’D LOVE TO BE A DOG.
Second of all — why is that even an insult?
Or:
“Don’t eat so it doesn’t go to waste, you’re not a trashcan.”
Well, now thanks to YOU, I feel like a trashcan.
Think about the messaging here: it’s rigid, shaming, and completely lacks understanding of why people develop these habits in the first place.
Finishing your plate isn’t a habit that just goes away with a few harsh statements. Call me a typical therapist but we need to understand why there is the need to finish the plate, what the person feels if things go to waste. These kinds of patterns are deeply ingrained in our brains; they aren't simple behaviors you can erase just by watching a few reels.
When we shame people instead of understanding them, we only drive the behavior deeper into feelings of guilt and self-hatred. True change only happens when we understand the needs behind our behaviors — when we see how they once helped us survive environments where our real needs weren't met. And only through awareness, compassion, and repetition can we begin to shift them for good.
Plus, you can say the same thing in a much more kind and compassionate way!
And if you find yourself thinking,
“No, I need someone to be harsh with me!” then ask yourself:
Why are you trying to discipline yourself through harshness?
What is the difference between criticism and reality?
I know so many people who say,
“I just want to hear the TRUTH! Even if it’s harsh!”
And honestly, this is often a coping mechanism — a way of trying to discipline or control yourself through constant criticism, disguised as "honesty."
2) Responsibility
I value authenticity, and I believe everyone should be able to speak their minds online.
But there’s also a responsibility that comes with that freedom.
When you post content — especially when speaking to the masses — you carry influence. You have the power to shape how people think and feel, especially the younger generation who spend hours and hours a day on social media.
People often say, "It’s just my opinion, I can say what I want," — and yes, you can.
But freedom of speech doesn’t mean freedom from the consequences of how our words impact others.
Especially in sensitive areas like body image, weight, health — where people are already vulnerable — we have to ask ourselves:
Is the way I’m saying this helping, or is it adding to someone’s shame?
This isn’t just about individual freedom of expression — it’s about our collective responsibility. We all contribute to the kind of world we live in, and that includes how we talk about and treat each other.
Since moving to the Netherlands, I’ve been struck by the cultural importance of the samen leven concept — which literally translates to "living together." But it’s more than just sharing space. It’s about how each person’s actions impact the community around them and recognizing that we all share responsibility for the well-being of society as a whole. In this view, society isn’t made up of isolated individuals; rather, we’re all interconnected. Our individual choices, whether small or large, shape the collective environment — and in turn, we all contribute to creating a supportive, inclusive, and harmonious society.
So, while we have the freedom to speak, we also have a responsibility to make the space we share more livable for everyone.
3) Accessibility
Another issue is that these reels are popping up on everyone’s main page — often without consent or context. While people who are actively looking for this type of content can choose to follow those accounts, it’s a different story when someone who doesn’t see finishing their plate as a problem suddenly stumbles across it. They’re left feeling bad about themselves, without having sought it out or being prepared for it.
This puts even more responsibility on everyone involved in this ecosystem —
the creators, the consumers, and the platforms.
To the ones sharing the content: Yes, you have the right to express yourself. But if you’re posting something that could reach thousands or even millions of people, ask yourself — is it responsible? Is the wording unnecessarily harsh? Who might be on the other end of this content?
To the platforms: Please, fix the algorithm. Content like this shouldn't be pushed, especially to people who haven’t chosen to engage with it. Sensitivity matters, especially in areas as vulnerable as body image.
To the consumers: Unfortunately, we can’t change the algorithm overnight — but you can start training it. Engage more with content that feels good and aligns with your values. Mute, unfollow, or report what doesn’t. Your online environment should work for you, not against you.
Conclusion
So, what’s the real takeaway from all this?
First off, SkinnyTok isn’t just about wanting to be thin. It’s about how we talk about bodies, and how those conversations impact people.
We all have the right to share our opinions, but it’s important to remember that words can have a big effect — especially when it comes to something as personal as body image. People who speak to the masses have a responsibility to find a balance between being authentic and considering the impact of their words.
We cannot control what others post, so we are also responsible for our own feeds and dealing with our own demons. So if this is triggering, consider training your algorithm or taking time off from social media.
The real issue is not whether thinness is good or bad. It's that we still don’t know how to hold multiple truths at once. We struggle to make room for the uncomfortable middle ground where:
You can support body diversity and still prefer a certain look for yourself.
You can want to be thin without automatically having an eating disorder.
You can criticize diet culture without shaming people who enjoy fitness or nutrition.
You can be in recovery and still have complicated feelings about your body.
Until we’re able to accept that bodies — and feelings about bodies — are messy, layered, and individual, we’ll keep swinging between extremes, chasing the next trend that promises to fix it all.
📎 Free Resource
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Great insights! Couldn't have written it better myself. 💗