Every single word in this post has thoroughly touched me.
My ED kept telling me all the time to stop socializing, because, in case of that, i would break his rules that made me "safe" and "healthy" -
For a long time i struggled with what i should order, no sugar, no carbs, no fruits, no pastries... the list goes on, it's a box of NOs only.
With time it made people around me don't want to go out with me again as i became the one who screw the event - but my ED kept saying, "You are right, we are good friends, we are healthy" - Big Liar. Real friends never want to kill theirs.
Now i am trying hard to shut down this voice - giving myself the chance to enjoy food as it is - as i was in the past - no rules, no time restriction, no more labeling. I keep reminding myself that I deserve a real life - a clear mind - a free soul who is not dictated by anything.
Every single word in this post has thoroughly touched me.
My ED kept telling me all the time to stop socializing, because, in case of that, i would break his rules that made me "safe" and "healthy" -
For a long time i struggled with what i should order, no sugar, no carbs, no fruits, no pastries... the list goes on, it's a box of NOs only.
With time it made people around me don't want to go out with me again as i became the one who screw the event - but my ED kept saying, "You are right, we are good friends, we are healthy" - Big Liar. Real friends never want to kill theirs.
Now i am trying hard to shut down this voice - giving myself the chance to enjoy food as it is - as i was in the past - no rules, no time restriction, no more labeling. I keep reminding myself that I deserve a real life - a clear mind - a free soul who is not dictated by anything.